Endless Possibilities aka Velata!

Well..  I figured I needed to give a review on my blog for Velata since i've finally had a chance to try all four flavors.


I'm telling you.. the Dark Chocolate is BY FAR my favorite flavor.   I love a little bit of bitterness to my chocolate and Velata's Belgian Dark Chocolate with 60% cacao is AMAZING.      Dark Chocolate is GREAT with sweets like strawberries, banana chunks, apples... anything naturally sweet.   Heck, I even cut open a bag and spent a few days snacking on the delicious chocolate discs.

And how much easier can it be?   You pull your warmer out of the box and remove all the packaging, wash the dish up with a little warm soapy water also the fondue forks and pat dry with a paper towel.
Turn on your warmer to a medium setting and then...  *drumroll*   select your chocolate!     There's white, dark, milk and caramel milk.      

Take the bag you chose, pop it into the microwave for 1 minute.   Remove the bag, knead it caution it WILL be hot!  Knead until all of the lumps are gone.. if there are anymore, pop it back in for 15seconds and then knead again.

Twist open the spout and seal and pour directly into your warmer dish.    This is honestly the most difficult part of the process because you dont want to scald your hands, but you absolutley want to make sure you get every delicious drop of oozy chocolate out of your Velata melting bag.    Tada!  grab your dippables and go to town.


Some people may say.. oh this is just chocolate..  but it has ENDLESS possibilities.

Baby showers, Birthday Parties, BBQs, Work Parties, Wedding Gifts, Holiday Gatherings..   Romantic night with your Someone Special or just have fun with the kids!   

Yeah, the warmers may be a tad expensive at $40, but they have a dimmer switch to change the temp for your chocolate, come with the bulb and four fondue forks.   This is awesome.     Be a smart shopper and get your warmer and several Velata bags of chocolate at a discounted price!


The Velata Chocolate come in 6oz bags..   I'm sure 6oz doesnt seem like a whole lot, but imagine this..  3 kids and 3 adults sat and gorged ourselved on chocolate covered yum yums and there was STILL a little chocolate left over in the dish...   Trust me, a little chocolate goes a LONG way!

Marshmallows, Pretzels, Nilla Wafers, Bacon, Potato Chips, Strawberries, Pineapple, Watermelon, Apple Slices, Raspberries and Blueberries, Shortbread Cookies, Coconut Macaroons..   EVERYTHING tastes amazing in Velata Chocolate.

If you want to give the perfect gift or by one for yourself, buy one here!

Elmo's Worlddddd!

So my friend Jessica did this AMAZING  Elmo party for her son for his 2nd birthday last October and I will soooo be stealing her ideas!

The thing that I love, she took simple primary colored papers and streamers and turned them into fantastic decorations!

Miss Maleah will be two this october and she is IN LOVE with Elmo aka No-Mo.     She'll be getting a whole Elmo bedroom make-over either for her birthday or from Santa and I cant wait.   Red curtains, Elmo bedding, Elmo toybox, Elmo toy organizer along with a new dresser, and a twin bed and bed frame.    I cant wait to see her in an adorable big girl room!

So, here are some cute ideas for the Elmo party I want to give out middle Princess...

Treat bags..  buy red bags, cut out the face shapes from construction paper, a little glue and time and ADORABLE bags for her guests!

More Onederland Ideas!

More adorable ideas...

So much pink and white and GLITTER needed!

YUMMMMMMM!!!!

and who doesnt want white snowflake sprinkles on their pink cupcakes?

Winter Onderland

I've so many ideas and want to do the usual cutesy themed party...    But this year, for Ellie's 1st birthday I want to do a Winter Onderland birthday.

Yes, you read that right, ONEderland.    :) 
Everything snowy, white and Christmas related.

Hopefully by then we'll have a white Christmas tree to hand all our bright crazy colored decorations on..    Make snowballs with the kids..


Have anything even related to cold weather and snow.. something we hardly ever see in Tucson AZ

Hostess snowballs..  because they're PINK Snowballs..

Adorable pink rock candy!



And these, i especially love..   PLUS the fact that I get to drink a trillion Frappucinnos to get the empty bottles  WIN WIN

Get to drink the contents, peel the labels off and paint the lids..   fill with milk and put the pretty new caps on..  Serve in ice and a cute decorated bucket.    :D


Hot Chocolate Bar...  
YUMMM  all the yummy topping..   whipped cream, mints, chocolate chips, sprinkles, marshmallows..  
and put them in cute little jars like this

Plus a decorated jar of Hot Chocolate mix all served in cute decorated styrofoam cups.  


Everything will be white, glittery and light pink, perfect for my perfect little princess.   I am so excited!

what do blondes have?

MORE FUN!!!

Seriously.   ;)


I was a blonde, naturally as a kid/teen but my hair has slowly been going darker with time

About three years ago, i went jet black, LOVED it but hated the upkeep especially since my brows are medium brown.      Then April 2011 I bleached it out.    Only  I used a 40 developer with my bleach and my hair got FRYED.   Tacky and melted.. so gross!!    Nothing would cover the burn strands.. no conditioner would help.   So finally 18 months later, it's grown out..   and i bleached it again...

 

 

Clearly, it isnt styled but i LOVE it.    My sister who's a cosmetologist came over and did it..   bleached it and then cut it.   I was just planning on bleaching the top and dying the bottom black again but i love the bleachyness so much on top that I want to bleach the little bron out of my hair thats left and bake it ALLLLL super blonde and then of course tone it and make it even more amazing.

Maybe after my phone stops being stupid and get up and style my hair for once I'll upload better pics..  just had to show it off a bit cause i LOVE it!

Excited for Zombies

I've spent the last few days watching movies with my girls..  

The Grey, Tangled, The Walking Dead Season 2, Rango, Rio and so many more.     You know, It's nice to sit down, have quiet time and enjoy being with your family.

Although Mallory may talk through pretty much every movie thats on TV and Maleah plays and does her own thing it's good to atleast be sitting in the same room and enjoying or time thougher.


And as i sit here and watch Season 2 of The Walking Dead, i can not wait for Season 3 this October.    I remember having Maleah and NEEDING to get released from the hospital in time to get home and watch the Premiere for my birthday lol... demanding we be released. lol    Last year Mallory was so hyped up to watch her "Zombie Show" again and this year.. ohh this year is going to get GOOD.    But I am so upset that AMC isnt on Dish Network anymore. 

Get over your fued guys..  I WANT MY SHOW BACK ON!   

Who's with me?!

I however how season three leaves out some comic scenes a little.   I know they havent been exact on with eachother but I really do not want Lori and her newborn to die.   I can't handle babies dieing and getting hurt in movies.. it churns my stomach.   Just too twisted for my book.

*rips hair out*

Yeah, i dont even have an actual name for this post..   my actions of ripping my hair out should be enough.


I'm so stressed out.    


*grabs another handful of hair*

So anyone that knows me or has been reading this, Jeremy and I split up.. almost 3 weeks ago.

After a lot of tears and a broken heart thats been super glued, broken again then taped together and yet broken again...    It's done.

He wants nothing to do with me.   I've never been through so much with one person before.. never given so much of myself and just gotten thrown away like garbage.

Funny thing is that for the last few months when we were actually getting along, we always talked about how we didnt want to be like my parents.. splitting up after 30 years of marriage or like his.. sticking together for absolutley no reason.

So here we are, two separate people with three kids.   Three kids who miss their Daddy but he doesnt even ask about them.   

I think after everything is all said and done, i'm so hurt because I've given him opportunity after opportunity to prove to me he cares.   To show me he wants me and NEEDS me in his life..   nothing in return.

I feel like i'm stuck at a roadblock now.   Once all his paperwork is complete and he's on Ellie's birth certificate the Military will make sure he's paying his child support but I obviously need a 'real' job.    I'm so torn over the idea of putting my girls in daycare, plus the fact that daycare for THREE kids is going to be out of control.  Let's hope i magically win the lottery without playing.   ;)


Anyways, although I REALLY dont want to, i'm going to have to turn to DES for help for cash assistance until i finally recieve child support, for help with food and even daycare assistance.

it's a hard lesson learned but atleast I know never to rely on anyone else for what i need/want. 

Well, y'all should be proud.   I've applied so many places in the last week.. a lot of retail some resteraunts.   Keeps your fingers crossed for me!   But then I have to figure out child care, transportation and Jeremy keeps bringing up that he's going to shut my phone off..  I almost wish he would already.       I'm so beyond done.   I'll figure something out and give my girls everything he couldnt.


I know some people cant understand this.. but i dont hate him   i guess we're just two different people and it wasnt meant to be.
I'll always love him because he's the father to my three beautiful girls.    Yeah. I'm upset that SIX years and three kids it has to end like this.. but it is what it is.   I hope he finds happiness and doesnt regret what's happened.

Im hoping and praying that I can get some kind of employment soon (plus Scentsy) and be able to file taxes this year..   get my shit together and move out of my Dad's house even if it means into transition housing.    I'd rather us be out on our own and working my ass off to provide than rely on someone else even more....


I need to do this for not only me, but my girls.  They need me more than ever now.


I will say, I am much closer with my monsters in the last three weeks..    They're also better behaved and respect me a little more and nothing else has changed becides Daddy not being around.    They miss him a lot.. and desire that male attention but I cant force him to see his kids.   It's sad.

Mommy's Princesses

I can't believe how fast my girls are growing up.    They're all so darn funny and have the best personalities.

Mallory is so big for her age.. and so pretty!   She keeps telling me she wants to grow her har out so long just like a princess  <3   Yet she crys everytime I brush it lol
She's so smart and can't wait to start school.. too bad now that we're going to be in AZ and not CA like we were supposed to, she has to wait til next fall.. she was so pumped to go this year too!

She loves riddles, word puzzles and anything zombies, Adventure Time and Princess related. She's strong willed and pig headed just like her Mommy AND Daddy...    It's pretty serious.

She loves her sisters 99% of the time..  the other 1% she's making them scream and cry.   Of course, what else are big sisters good for?
 She rides her bike like a big girl.. loves riding her Jenny  :)

Maleah is in her "terrible-two's"   She's 100% mommy..   Seriously, she looks just like me and i LOVE it! Wow does she have a set of lungs on her!    This kid can and will scream til the cows come home, then the cows hear her screeches and flee!   It's insane.   I remember Mallory going through this too, but since she was an only child at this point, there wasn't any extra screaming from a sibling teasing her.   Oh Lord...   by about.. 6pm I think my head is going to explode and I'm ready to put these monsters to bed.     

When she isn't screaming, shes quiet...watching.   Watching everything.   She's very observent and is so smart.    She doesn't talk all the much but is starting to little by little, and if you mention something to her or ask her to get something specific she has no problem going and finding whatever it is. 

She also is really into using her little pink potty Grandma bought her like a big girl.   I'm glad she understands but its so much work potty training her and chasing around little speedy Ellie to make sure she isnt getting into the toilet lol

Speaking of Ellie... shes amazing.   She's a sweetheart, my littlest buggy and my buddy.   She's 8 months old now..  has all 4 front teeth and boy does she know how to use them!   We're still breastfeeding and going strong and I'm so damn proud of that!    Unlike Maleah, she eats anything.  Literally.. ANYTHING.   I can put her in the high chair with some yum yums and she'll snack away until her belly is full or she's out of food.   She's a speedy little thing and can crawl from one end of the house to the other in under a minute  lol   Shes the race car of babies.  

She's also pulling up on everything and cruising.. and i'm convinced it's her goal in life to find and eat as much catfood and humanly possible.   Gross, I know.   I've resorted to keeping it all up out of reach and feeding and watering the cat as he comes inside.     Oh, and I'm very proud to say...   She totally understand the connection with me (Mommy) and saying Mama.   she crawls to me calling "MaMa MaMa MaMa" until i rush over to her and scoop her up.   My littlest princess is sooo addicted to me... about as addicted to as I am to her.   I love my little girls!

I'm sure my next post will have a hundred or so photos.. or maybe i'll break it up into 3 different posts, one for each kiddo since my computer/phone didnt want to cooperate and post all of them.. and ohhhh they're so cute!   <3

Down-time=Sad-time

It's funny how you can go literally all day and if you keep busy enough, you can keep something off your mind.    Doesn't matter how important that something is..  just keep busy.

I really enjoy my "down-time" when the kids are in bed at night, but lately it's been torture.   All I can do is sit and think... and cry.     Sit here and cry like a fucking fool.   Wishing I could be happy with someone who isn't even close to being compatable with me.

It's sad.. sad and stupid.    I'm such an idiot.


I know it'll be a REALLY long time before I can move on from these last six years and losing my best friend..  but I'll live.   The kids will understand some day.. maybe.


I just hope their Dad can step up and be there for him and not disappear for months at a time again...

Velata, what?

Okay.. and now onto the YUMMY stuff.

I am now a Independent Velata Consultant!

Click on the Velata logo to go to my website!


Velata is.. well it's amazing!   I got my starter kit Wednesday and after a special trip to the grocery store to find dippable treats, we tried it lastnight.    My ultimate fave is Dark chocolate.   It's 60% cocoa so it has a very rich yet bitter taste and it was AMAZING on strawberries and coconut macaroons!

There's also flavor options of White, Milk, and Caramel Milk.

We dipped shortbread cookies, macaroons, marshmallows, graham crackers, pretzels, green apples and strawberries.   EVERYTHING was amazing..   


It's $99 to join Velata plus tax and shipping and this is what comes in your kit

Contents like chocolate flavors will vary and warmer also.   I got the Licorice curve which is like the warmer above but black instead of red.  With every warmer you get 4 matching fondue forks which are awesome!

and....
the 10% off sale through August 31st applies to Velata too!

#NowWarming

Well, it's been about a month since I posted anything Scentsy..

I've been in love with the scent "Lucky In Love"   It honestly smells like Victoria's Secret "Love Spell".    I know this smell is a favorite of women, and it's totally a favorite of mine.

And I've also updated my warmer collection..    I purchased Fright Night as soon as it came back to the site..

Anyone the knows me KNOWs how much i LOVE Halloween!

I've added this plug-in to the guest bath..

                                    This is the Santa Fe Plug-In warmer.  Cute!




And this cutie, Dotty is now in the main living area..   LOVE IT!   This is also another one of those soon to be discontinued warmers.   I love how its cute and so playful!

See, isn't it cute?

And I put up my Rosso warmer for now and now have Whoot in my bedroom sitting proudly on top of my dresser..

And these things, theyre AMAZING..   if you dont have a heat safe surface, I highly suggest you by one of these..   they're well-worth the $10.   I'm using mine under Whoot since my dresser is a cheaper laminate instead of solid wood, I dont want the heat to bubble the backing up on it.

LOVE LOVE LOVE being a Independant Scentsy Consultant.   I often joke that even if I wont the Lottery, I would still sell Scentsy.    Of course I would have 10 of everything in stock..  and every bar for my own personal stash, but I would STILL sell Scentsy.  :)

Thank you, Dad.

Sometimes it just takes a good heart-to-heart with someone who cares about you to change your view on things.

I have to admit, I have the best father a girl could ask for.    I am a grown woman with three kids of my own and my dad is still here for me.. always has been.   Not only was he great to me as a kid, but he's supporting MY family when I should be doing this on my own.   He was supporting us when Jeremy should have stepped up as a man and did it.

I'm so thankful for him.     After writing my blog post lastnight and a flood of tears, I had a talk with my dad.    He told me that I was an amazing mother and I dont need some excuse of a man holding me and my kids back.     He said "Get a job, i'll make sure you get there"   "Get a job, i'll help you get childcare"

I stayed up until 3am lastnight doing applications online only to get up at 7am with the kids this morning.   I'm exhausted.

Things I need to get done:
    -sign up for WIC.   They supply a FREE very high grade double electric breast pump for woring or school-going mothers.   I have EVERY intention of keeping Ellie on the boob juice for as long as possible.   It's been a hard journey but I LOVE breastfeeding and knowing I'm giving her the best she could ever have straight from my body like a Mommy is supposed to.
    -Get a job and apply for daycare assistance.   Obvious reasons..  lol
    -Save for the VERY important things.. like Gas to drive someone else's vehicle back and forth to work each day until i can save for my very own car again and pay insurance and all the other super important things.
    -MOVE OUT!   Yes, I need to move out.   I'll be terrified to live on my own again, but obviously it needs to be done when I have 3 kids and a family of my own..   Hopefully I can find a CLEAN, SAFE 3bd home that I can afford utilities on.
  
All the while, I still want to be selling Scentsy and Velata.   It's so much fun and it's easy to be passionate about something you love and enjoy.


I have so much more to do on my laundry list of items but I can do this.  I will do this.  I HAVE to do this, for myself, my kids and my dad.

Life sucks sometimes..

It's been some time that i've wrote..  not much has changed..  except everything.


First..   I feel like I need to get this out somewhere before my heart dies and my head explodes.


Things suck.   I am so damn mad at myself.

I'm mad that I was dumb enough to depend on another person for everything.    I feel like i'm up shit creek, without a paddle.

Do you know what it feels like to lose your best friend in the whole entire world?  I do. I lost him 11 days ago.  Jeremy and myself parted ways almost two weeks ago and i've been batteling a whirlwind of emotions ever since.      My best friend.. gone.   The love of my life..  gone.

I've been keeping my personal life off the interweb for some while but I will say..  It's been so fucking hard.    We didn't end on good terms and I doubt we'll ever be able to be friends again.

It's really difficult when your heart tells you one thing but your head tells you another..  my head telling me "this will never work out..   your girls dont need to think this is a relationship they should be in one day"    but my heart telling me  "You love him.. it'll all work out"  

Sorry heart, it'll never work out.  

Everyday I have to listen to Mallory talk about how she wants daddy to come home and she misses him..   She obviously doesn't understand it, but it feels like someone is twisting the dagger in my chest EVERY time.

Even though I'm so angry at him.. so angry with him, I'm even more angry with myself.   HOW could I have been so dumb..   I relied on this man for EVERYTHING in the last six years.   A man who couldnt keep a job, couldnt pay his bills on time and couldnt even keep us in our own fucking place.   Here I am, 25 years old.   A single mother of 3 and I held on so long because of love.   FUCK LOVE.

I am 25 yrs old, with three beautiful daughters.   I live with my father, no vehicle and my only income is Scentsy.   Yet, all i want to do is move HOME.      I left Ohio 9 years ago with my family and now all i want to do is flee Arizona and go back to te last place that I was truely happy and didnt have to deal with the heartache of thinking..  "Oh we went here together"  "Our first date was here..  The first time he said he loved me was when we were here"    I just want to leave.   Although I have family out here, I just want to start over fresh somewhere..   Sandly, stupid me thought that was going to happen.    Jeremy was supposed to get his divorce, marry me and we would PCS when he was reenlisted in the Military.

I realized lastnight that after SIX years and THREE kids together.. if he was ever going to make me his wife, it would have happened long ago.   If he was ever going to be responsible it wouldnt be when he was 32.   It would have been when he fould found out he was having a child with me.   *shrug*     Love makes you blind.

So because love made me so stupid and blind, here i am.  STUCK.   I have three kids..    three kids i love dearly and would give everything and anything to..   I don't know how I'm going to save to get a car..   pay for daycare so i can get a fulltime job..   how long it'll take me to save to leave this place..  but i'll do it eventually.    

Finally have to start believing in myself and only myself.  i CAN do this.. i WILL do this.. i have to.


And for Jeremy, because i think he'll be reading this:
I'm sorry I'm so nasty twards you.   I am so fucking angry at myself.   I want to stop loving you and missing you but I think it'll be some time.   You're right.   Things were said that can never be taken back.   I just wish you would have been honest about the marriage thing LONG ago.   I've been the idiot holding my breath and waiting for some magical change to happen.  I know nothing will ever change.     I want to be civil with you for the sake of the girls but please understand, i lost the love of my life and my best friend.   I feel like i've experienced the worst loss ever.   I need to grieve like it's an actual death.
I need to find ME again before I can be happy and the rude things you say is just going to push me farther and farther away. 
I hope you understand why I need to move away.. and want to.   You wont be around anyways because you'll be too busy with your new and improved military life.

Have a great 32nd Birthday with whoever is so important to you now.
xoxo